maybe someday, but until then…

someday…

I will have baby books for each and every one of my kids! And even though this desire came about before Halle was even born, my high hopes at being able to accomplish such a task have sadly amounted to absolutely NOTHING in six years of parenting : ( I wish I could blame lack of inspiration, but it wouldn’t be so. The majority of moms I know have actually taken the time and effort to put something of significance together and now have volumes (and sometimes volumes and volumes!!) of very lovely scrapbooks to show for it and I am greatly inspired. So I can’t claim to be lacking for ideas in ways to use photos and cute paper and quotes that would creatively portray, from birth to present, all the memorable moments of my children’s existence. Am I a slacker? Most definitely!! But in this case, I truly believe there is something else in the mix for putting this off. I have to face the terms that it is really just too daunting of a task for me. Wanting to be somewhat on par with the scrapbooks I have turned the pages of, I know I placed demanding standards on myself. And because of that, I really think I know why I procrastinate and shy away from even beginning one. It comes from the fact that deep down, what is at work in this case, is this innate inkling that often (but not always) controls my determination and leaves many desires unaccomplished; it is where I cowardly conclude “if I can’t do it well, I won’t do it at all.” Pitiful!

But even more pitiful is what I currently would have to fork over to my girls if they were to ask where their baby books are. Sadly, they would not get the pleasure of flipping through cute and inviting pages of whatever sources documented their first year (my poor little ones are not so fortunate and blessed). Instead, to learn about their early days, they would be handed a stack of dull yellow-lined, two-columned steno notebook pads where they would have to suffer through my daily entries of their recorded poopy and wet diaper counts, nursing start times and duration, food and drinks I consumed throughout the day, and what the clock said every time they were “fussy fussy fussy.” Any milestones and highlights (like smiling, rolling over, sitting up, sounds and words…) of their first 15 months of life are posted sporadically within the information I was so obsessive in keeping track of.

You see, my experience with babies was seriously lacking and I didn’t realize how much and often a baby could cry until Halle was born. It seemed to be WAHHHAHHH all day and all night long! I didn’t see other babies doing this. Was I the culprit somehow? I became so determined to know if there was a correlation to her constant crying and the way her body was handling breast milk; and thus this obsession with data came about!! (Did we already cover the fact that I have issues???) Anyways, after months of recording just about EVERYTHING for Halle it was pretty clear that I was not finding any underlying results other than the obvious fact that babies cry (and I need to deal with it) but I still continued anyways. Day in and day out, I jotted my usual bits down. There was something comforting about it. I received some sort of odd solace from knowing that, even if I couldn’t control Halle, I could at least control the data I wrote down.

When each child’s nursing days were over, I would retire their steno pads and put them in a safe place. But that love of recording things didn’t also get put to the wayside. It was put to another use as I tried to keep track of as many words and phrases my girls might utter. Once we got into the talking phase of life (especially from Halle), I found myself with quite an accumulation of noteworthy quotes being acquired all throughout my day-timer. Thus the notion followed that perhaps this type of ‘data’ (in comparison with my prized steno-pad material) might actually be appreciated, and maybe even adored, by others. Especially grandparents. A gift idea quickly followed! So for the last three Christmases, a new tradition has been going on where HALLEISMs spoken during the year previous have been given out as presents. These were little flip books where all the favorite sayings (I was the judge) were printed individually on cute card stock and bound together so that they would look nice displayed on a desk or table top of an appreciative grandmother.

Now I know this doesn’t solve the dilemma of my girls not having their own books to look at. And Dee and Gracie don’t even have their own CHILDisms books (bottom line is because most of the words/answers/questions I adore from their mouths’ and have written down just don’t have they same initial effect when shared with others). Still at least one child can’t claim I am guilty of complete negligence. Halle is not at a total loss for memorabilia because there are a few relatives who can enjoy some precious moments of her life, in nice little books, anytime they choose. Maybe there will be a glorious day when I will be brave enough to tackle putting all things together for my girls! (maybe!!!) But until then, the below will have to suffice.

halleisms volume 1

click here for

HALLEisms 2006*when Halle was three*

halleisms - volume 2

click here for

HALLEisms 2007*when Halle was four*

HALLEisms 2008

click here for

HALLEisms 2008*when Halle was five*


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