HALLEisms 2008


When I’m not here, you can play with my toys.
When I’m not here, I won’t hurt you.

Halle was going to spend some time by herself with
Nonnie. These were some positive reminders she was
leaving with her sisters to think about in her absence.

some people are really old and they
don’t know what they are doing

that was Halle’s response to try & calm Rob
down when he got upset by another driver

You are stinky, but I wont say you smell like trash
apparently, Halle doesn’t like my aroma when I come back from
jogging; but at least she thinks she is being polite when she tells me

If I don’t know what you are talking about,
I can’t answer your question

Halle does make a valid point when she said that to Gracie

Do you need help mommy?
Because if you do, you can just push
that ‘help’ button on your computer.

While I was working at the computer, Halle took notice of
all the options on the tool bar of the application I had open.
Literal literal Halle – IF ONLY it were that simple and if just
clicking on the word ‘help’ would solve all my problems in life!!!

When Rob got out of the shower while Halle was
in the bathroom, she made this observation.

Daddy has a tail on the front of his bottom
Two things were decided at that moment
1) no more showers for Rob when Halle is
present 2) we MUST start teaching the girls
the appropriate body-part names


Gracie, you will do me a great
favor if you stop doing that.

Halle (in a very grown-up manner), was trying to
persuade Gracie why she should stop copying her


Rob told Gracie we should remove
the word “can’t” from our vocabulary.
Halle chimed in and said we should
remove the word “hate” too


But she is not my enemy

Halle thought she found the loop hole in my
Bible verse I was quoting; I was using it to
explain why we need to be nice to someone
even if we don’t like them


Did she get fatalled {pronounced feyt-hld}?

We had just been talking about accidents that
would be described as ‘fatal’ – Halle quickly
turned that word into a verb when she asked about
a movie where someone died in a car wreck

WHY are you going so slow???
This isn’t a school zone!!!

At the tender age of 5, Halle is already able
to verbalize some clever road-rage type slanders
to incompetent drivers


I wish Satan would just love God and call
him Lord. I know he [satan] believes in God,
but I wish he would call him Lord.
What does Satan call Him since he
doesn’t call Him Lord? I’ll just have to
wait to ask God when I am in heaven.

a short little dialogue Halle had with herself

Gracie is working on her potty training
& mommy is working on her yelling

Halle gave the check-out clerk at CVS the inside
scoop when we were buying some pull-up diapers


I told Halle we needed to turn a movie off if she
wasn’t watching it. She assured me that she
was “conscious of it” even though she wasn’t
watching it, “so we should leave it on” she said.
I guess I wasn’t ‘conscious’ of the fact that she
knew what the word ‘conscience’ was.

Mom is your brain always ticking?
Halle had asked me how turning the steering
wheel also makes the wheels turn. I was so
impressed with that question I told her,
“Halle, your brain is always just tick tick tickin.”
When she asked me likewise about my own brain,
I had to reply back with “not so much.”
These days…
Not… so… much….


Before ever watching “The Sound of Music” Tia was explaining
the story line to Halle; explaining that a woman came to live
with a family where there was a dad and no mom. That together
they have to live in a world with a lot of hard things going on around
them like war and sadness. And they learn to love and laugh together

“Like life”
wise beyond her years, Halle seems to get it….


Because Halle adds much drama when she is upset over the littlest of
things, we stress often that she control her verbal reactions to fall
more inline & correspond appropriately with the real level of
distress. Based on all these discussions, this is the list of instances
she came up with where it would be OK to scream like crazy.

When a stranger is in your room.
When you’re dying or being shot with a gun.

Months later, she would request that 1000s of bees swarming
around your head would also be considered a legitimate reason to scream

I thought I heard a blurb on the tv mentioning something
about “summer readers” so I told Halle, hey – that is you.
Aren’t you a SUMMER reader? “No,” she corrected me.

I read in every season.
And… it says SUPER reader, mom!


I had hollered out ‘Hey! Dude!!’ to the person in front of me
because his annoyingly-aimless manner of driving was frustrating
me. When Halle asked me why I referred to him in that way, I
explained “he OBVIOUSLY has no idea where he is going.” Her
response below let me know that I would soon (and often)
be the victim of my own jeering remarks.

Next time you are lost, I am going to call you ‘Dude”

Halle was reading a prayer request about a friend preparing for a
missions trip. She noticed how it asked for all the paperwork
would to be done in “due time.” So Halle’s question was this.

Why does she have to get it done in the morning?
In her mind, “due time” equated to “dew time” which is
something that would happen in the early am, right?
Months later she asked me what the “meantime” is.


Did you forget to put panties on? I don’t see your
panties. Oh, I see them. They are stuck in your bottom.

Some girl-friends of mine had strongly suggested that I retire
my usual full-coverage style of panties for something less
modest. Halle 1st noticed I had taken their advice when she
made her observation OUT LOUD in a dressing room
(and I know for certain I heard giggling nearby…)


Finding those numbers on a digital clock a bit tricky to
decipher, Halle offered a great answer once when I happened
to ask her what time it was one afternoon.
12:55 One; two or five; two or five; two or five

It is just a funny feeling inside my head…
it is just interesting… that God is just there
in the beginning and not created.

you can tell by her description of her thought process
that she is truly thinking about this and wondering hard

Do we have any reduced iron?
Halle told me that the bag of cookies she was eating from had included
a recipe printed on the package. “So we can make our own,” she said.
I didn’t question this until she started asking me about all the items
this ‘recipe’ called for. It was when she said we need wheat flour
and reduced iron, and asked if we had any, that I caught on to
the fact that she was actually reading from the ingredient list.


Halle was talking about her desires to be a mom. So I asked
her how many kids she wanted. I love how her response gave
ultimate trust in a bigger plan, over her own.

Three kids. Unless God wants me to have four

I bet everyone up ahead of us [in the traffic]
is also saying “Frick! Frick! Frick! “

I had just vented some G-rated words of frustration when we got
onto the freeway & saw the long line of cars barely moving in
front of us. I appreciated how Halle wanted me to share in the
possible empathy of nearby drivers; assuring me there are other
angry folks expressing my same sentiments.

Can we go to the West pool?
Huh?? The west pool???
Yeah, like the north and south pool.
Oh, you mean pole!
Yeah!! When can we go to the east and west pole?

Your mind was thinking about
that hot chocolate, wasn’t it?

Halle noticed Dee’s absentmindedness when I was asking everyone
about breakfast preferences. I thought it was rather clever of Halle
to offer up a reason for why Dee was not answering me


Mom. Since we are in a bad mood we should read
the Bible right away, before we eat breakfast.

None of us were off to a good start with our attitudes
one morning when Halle made her suggestion.


While driving one day we watched an ambulance car speed
by our van; a police car was following close behind. Both
had sirens blazing. This was Halle’s conclusion.

OH! maybe someone got hurt AND broke the law

We don’t have to wash our hands to get rid of
the germs, the white blood cells will kill them

Halle had been reading from a book about the ins and outs of
the human body. Now she seemed certain she had gained
insight to challenge my rule of ‘wash before you eat’

Is your answer “yes” or “we’ll see” ?
Halle knows that most of her “reasonable” requests don’t
receive an immediate “no” from me; instead, I almost always
say, “we’ll see.” So when Halle asked me if we could get the
movie Prince Caspian, she offered up my two usual responses
of how I would probably answer.

I’m afraid I won’t be able to use my joint again
Halle tripped while running in her flip flops and received
a nice-sized scratch on her elbow. When she saw that
it was bleeding she made the comment above. The use
of “I’m afraid” and “joint” made this so Halle

McDonald’s has boogers right?
Uh…do you mean BURGERS?
Yeah, I kinda mix-did
(a.k.a. “mixed”) up the sounds

Do you think there will be
golden bunk beds in Heaven?

Mom, Dee is into something she shouldn’t be
—fun comments Halle has said about her sister—
That was the day Dee threw the knife at me

Halle announced at dinner time once that her
lasagna noodle looked like the state of Oregon.
—–
I wondered then if I even knew what the state of Oregon
looks like??? Nope, I wasn’t sure about that one.

Christmas caroling is a lot like trick-or-treating,
right? Except there is no candy…
and you don’t say, ‘trick-or-treat’

I wonder how money can lead people away from God?
great question, Halle! And wouldn’t we all do well to
give careful attention to the answer of that inquiry!!

I don’t think daddy will be happy about this
Surprisingly, this was Halle who said this about something
HER MOMMY had done, and not the other way around


Something interesting happened…
Much to my surprise…
It appears to me…
May I suggest..

Just a few of Halle’s precocious articulations spoken
regularly from her 5 year old tongue


Do we only give money if they are ringing a bell?

During the Christmas season, the girls were able to put coins into
the buckets of many Salvation Army volunteers. Halle wanted to
know why we don’t also give to those folks who linger by
intersection lights requesting charity. When I told her that we
just cant trust their intentions, she came up with her own way
to test the sincerity of people wanting a donation – look for a bell.

I thought George Washington was our president
this statement came after my attempt to talk about Obama becoming
the new president. Hmm… I think I need to bring her up to speed
on a “few” changes the White House has had over the last 200 years…

Your nail polish will come off faster
if you put your finger in your nose

God likes America,right?
Because God blessed America

an idea most likely concluded from lyrics of that
familiar patriotic song, ‘God Bless America’

Why don’t we have a heavenly mother?

It’s fun to live in a trailer!
actually, I am really hoping she meant to say ‘it is fun to
rent a nice looking trailer for a short weekend getaway’

When are you going to turn old?
The old where you have a different face;
an old face and not a young face?

That is why I want a school party,
so we can do math problems!

Halle has been telling me she wants a “school party” for her
6 year old birthday celebration. I was a bit worried at first
when I wondered how many kids would be excited to RSVP???


I think you should make a sign that says “remember
Halle likes olives,” so that you don’t forget

let’s discuss this now!
ahem… yes, that was from the mouth of a very upset
5 yr old vented to a very taken aback adult

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3 Responses to HALLEisms 2008

  1. jvanvleet says:

    usually these are all typed up and given to grandparents by Christmas, but I have been W-A-Y behind in just about everything these last several months! But now that they have been given to family, I can post them for friends : )

  2. Nicole says:

    I LOVE HER!!!! She is so hilarious….and lucky to have you as a mommy, with your extraordinary record keeping skills! You need to get your blogs bound into a coffee table book….www.blurb.com is the one I am using, but it is taking a LONG time to get motivated to finish…..

  3. julespaq says:

    I’m laughing out loud at her ‘isms! I LOVE the panty one!!!! Too funny! Thanks for sharing!

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