The Van Vleets

When I first heard those lines, my immediate response was this. “How arrogant! That guy has some serious pride issues!” My heart never skipped a beat nor did I allow that remark to strike a chord with me as the rest of the dvd, ‘The Chariots of Fire’ played on. I had heard there were some great quotes concerning running and faith in the script and I thought this movie would be perfect to watch before running a half marathon. I was hoping for some extra motivation; some positive mental reserve I could call on in the final miles to keep my spirits up and help me finish strong. And while watching the film, I certainly didn’t think the olympic sprinter, Harold M. Abrahams, who confessed, “If I can’t win, I won’t run” to his leading lady would be the one to challenge me and inspire me. Because honestly, I had never considered myself competitive (with others), I am not one who believed it is important (with regards to others) to be first at things, and the idea that actually winning anything (even 1000th place) in this half-marathon (with 6000 others) was absolutely inconceivable. So what could I possibly have in common with this pretentious character who has this complex of needing to win and be the best? No, this line DID NOT apply to me! Or so I thought… _{(if you are getting the vibe that “jo eats crow” would be a fitting title here, then yay for you. You have the gift of foresight to see where this is going)}

With the first half-marathon, the experience was a positive one, at least in my summation. But instead of just being excited that I had run farther than I ever had run before _{(that detail got lost in my “non-competitive” mind)}, I focused only on my completion time. And because I wasn’t disappointed with the results, I now had a determined mindset that ALL future marathons HAD to be finished with my average pace falling in a certain range. Anything less would not be acceptable to me.

That first race was so fun!! Lots of people cheering, music, a completion medal & t-shirt, food, and (I love this next part) it was perfectly acceptable to drink a couple of beers before 10 in the morning! It totally had me fired up to try again for another half. It was very doable and I had a great time. But could I push myself even more? I didn’t really care, no time to think about that. I seemed to be content just knowing that I did what I already knew I could do _{(a little bit sad when you think about it)} . And I still believed attempting a full was out of the question. But at this point, I never allowed myself to wrestle with “why?” I felt that way.

So the night before the second marathon comes along, we host a pasta party with other fellow runners. They are all running the full 26 miles, I am the only one running 13; so I begin to feel a little bit of ambition tugging at me. But I didn’t really toy around with that possibility. My focus was still set, only because I felt certain I could, to keep my time for this half within my acceptable pace range. Little did I know, or admit to myself, that I was labeling this goal “acceptable” because I would consider the race a loss in my book if I didn’t meet my completion time standard _{(some might say the opposite of lose is win, yes? And “win” is in the title of this blog. See…I am still trying to help you out with the foreshadowing here)}

Ten miles into my second race, the half-marathoners split up with the full-marathoners. The folks in my group finish up running a “measly” (I’m using that word in comparison terms only here…) three miles while the latter continues on with another 16. I do begin to feel rather mediocre. But I press on, making sure I don’t suffer defeat with a speed slower than my goal. Thankfully the big stop watch at the finish line assures me that I made it; wahoo! another personal victory (yes, there is sarcasm there). Because when I succeeded with that, it just wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. I think it was due to the fact that, secretly, I had already believed myself capable of attaining the pace I wanted (and what is so noteworthy about that?). I was starting to realize there was this side of me that only sets out to try new things that I feel certain I won’t fail at.

Whatever happened to give it your best and have fun?? I don’t know, that wasn’t in my realm of reasoning. So questions were pondered. Am I shying away from attempting to run a full because I think I have to do it with a certain pace? Shouldn’t it be fair to say a self-victory of finishing a full-marathon for the first time is indeed “winning”? Or do I think “winning” involves keeping the same pace as my half-marathons and focusing only on the speed. For me, it was the pace thing : ( And so I had to come to terms with the reality that I too was in essence saying, “if I can’t win, I won’t run.”

But in the movie, Harold’s girl Sybil very wisely counters his comment with, “If you don’t run, you can’t win.” How true!! And yes, while my first desire would be to know that maybe, just maybe, I could run the full distance with my ideal pace (and that I won’t know unless I try); it is even more important for me to own up to the fact that I need get over this personal pride issue. If I am going to be teaching my children to be brave and try new things, giving it their best, and to enjoy themselves no matter what the results (because isn’t that what true “winning” is all about?); I need to be able to be someone to model that behavior to them. “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work here.

Wow, sorry I am looking up through all these words and realizing this is very long! I’ll try to wrap it up. So all said and done, I made up my mind that for better or for worse, I need to do this. In March I signed up for the Rock ‘n’ Roll San Antonio marathon . The big day is November 16th. And “low” and “slow” are the categories for this blog; for many reasons.

Low: Well, I had to learn how prideful I was. That is a low feat. And sadly, I am STILL of the mindset that I will not learn my lesson soon enough. Just knowing how my brain works, I still believe I will be sorely disappointed if my time doubles my half-marathon time by more than just a couple of minutes. I desperately want to get over that goal and just be proud to know I attempted such a long run and that I gave it my best (regardless of what that clock at the end says). But I am sure it will be a long drawn-out process in getting myself to wise up in that area. I know that I need to redefine in my mind (and heart!) what success and winning are really all about.

Slow: This is a time-consuming training and slow-going process, with many more weeks to go. I won’t be ready, mentally or physically, overnight. And, with the last long-training run I did on Saturday, I am seeing glimpses of just how “slow” I might really be when it comes race day. That little virtual runner on my garmin forerunner quickly ran off my screen with the pace I gave him; and I never did catch him. I’ll get him next time! Oh wait. I can’t admit that, I forgot I already claimed that am not competitive : )

So stay tuned and see how I do. Do I learn my lesson? Can I actually survive all the training AND then the actual 26.2 marathon miles? I hope I can write about saying, ‘yes’ to all of them!

Because of this post from awhile back, Dee is for destruction, I started thinking of how I could continue on with other similar captions like these. I liked the whole idea of starting off with “Dee is for” and then following with an appropriate “d” letter adjective; one that would best depict a unique characteristic/quality of our daughter that truly sets her apart from her siblings in so many comical ways. And while I am likely to say these instances just show that Dee marches to the beat of different drum; Rob is one to question whether or not there is even a “drum” beating up there at all (in her head, that is…). You can decide whose train of thought you side with : ) But at any rate, I hope postings like these help you get a feel for all the fun scenarios we see that make life a joy with Dee. Here is the latest.

dif*fer*ent [dif-er-uhnt, dif-ruhnt] – adjective 1. not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar: The two are different. 2. not identical; separate or distinct: three different answers. 3. various; several: Different people told me the same story. 4. not ordinary; unusual.

I’m going with definition number four here to use with the pictures below. As it is “not ordinary” for a kid (or anyone!) to ENJOY eating raw onions. But apparently Dee does; and therefore I believe my usage is correct in the context here of describing something that is rather UNUSUAL.

As I was cutting up onions to saute for fajitas the other night, Dee was watching nearby and said she wanted to try some. With a little hesitancy on my part, I gave her a freshly sliced ring and waited expectantly for some sort of repulsive-type reaction. But none followed. She was happy with the first bite and so she finished chewing up and eating ALL of that sliced ring. And then, to my surprise, she requested another; and then another; and then another!! After about 5 whole onions rings had been consumed, she wanted something new on her palate and moved onto chips and salsa.

So maybe there are other “D” words out there to describe Dee’s new delicacy, but “different” is what first popped into my mind.

When it comes to the speech development of our little ones, we never seem at a loss for entertainment. And though I would never have suspected that the simple word “potty” would take a hit and suffer injury in the enunciation of our three years olds; it did and in a rather humorous way. This poor verb/noun has had to forego its “T” sound in exchange for an “L” as Dee and Gracie are learning not only how to go “poTTy in the poTTy” but also how to correctly communicate this big-girl action as well.

After our first not-so-successful day in potty training 101, it was quite a feat trying to figure out WHAT exactly I could use as a motivator. I needed something (anything) that would stir in their minds a desire to want to try and experience (even if for just brief moments) the joys and glory of a life without diapers. But nothing I would offer or say had any positive effect. In our desperation, Rob and I even sank to a new level of LOW in our parenting. We offered Halle a bowl of ice cream and as we also enjoyed eating from our own bowls, in front of Dee and Gracie, we proceeded with slightly snide and coaxing comments like these. “We All went potty in the potty today.” “Ice cream can be something YOU TOO can have, but… not until you go potty in the potty.” “I really hope you get to have some soon, it SURE is yummy.” But we were unconvincing. A tilt of the head and a long drawn out silly sounding surely-you-can’t-be-serious reply of “n-o-o-o-o-o-o…” was the shared response of Dee and Gracie.

Sigh…

Days and days would go by. Still, Dee and Gracie had no desire to try at home. But, oddly enough, it was when we would go to the pool (and the girls would be in their swim diapers AND in the water) that Dee and Gracie would inform me they needed to go poLLy in the poLLy. Off we would go to the public restroom and sure enough, they did! This happened with such regularity that a new thought came to my mind. Let’s wear the swim diapers during the day at our house!! A quick note to mention that these aren’t your typical disposable swim diapers. I bought them on ebay with this description. “Swim pant made from waterproof material. Snug fitting around the legs and waist. Reusable. Machine Wash Warm. Certified UV protection.” Can’t beat that!

So with all that being said, I am pleased to FINALLY say that the girls have been very agreeable to wearing these super cute ruffled (leak proof) panties in our potty training; and we have been having many successes in the bathroom. Yay for these swim diapers!

Going “poLLy in the poLLy” has been fun for all!!

There is a connection between these two areas and because of that I will forever hold in my hand a “get out of jail free” card. I can’t play it too much; but there is comfort knowing it is there, if needed, to hand over to Rob the next time he discovers the girls got into something they shouldn’t have (under mommy’s supervision). I can now say, “remember the planting crayons incident…hmmm?” And voila; I am free from blame!

It happened like this. It is close to dinner time, I need to get things ready to put in the oven and make a phone call. So I tell Rob, “you watch the girls.” We are all in the kitchen at this point; Halle is coloring, D&G are playing with a box of crayons they got for their birthday (120 of them to be exact), and Rob is checking his facebook-account-thing at the laptop on the counter RIGHT NEXT TO THE GIRLS.

At this moment in time, it is my right to be distracted from all other actions happening in the kitchen. This was a prior agreement made just moments before that my attentions would be focused elsewhere; and not on the girls. So when it is discovered by both Rob and me (at the same time) that Dee and Gracie have dumped all the crayons on the floor AND proceeded to bury them in the nearby plant sitting less than a foot away from Rob’s feet, who is to blame??? The guilty party is the one who had to clean up the mess and when ROB was vacuuming up all the dirt and making sure all crayons made it out of the pot, he said I was forever exonerated.

Ha ha, Rob you get this card.

And I am off the hook next time the girls get a little too creative in their coloring/crayon endeavors.

What is this “beautiful” way? I don’t know!

I have been trying to get Halle to tell me ever since I found out that she read a book with this very title. Yep. And here is how it happened.

There was much pitter-patter of feet during nap time while we were staying with Rob’s Aunt in Wisconsin. I knew, without a doubt, that the sounds belonged to Halle as she would over and over again run back and forth from her bed to the bookshelf in the hall; each time bringing to her room something new to read. I just assumed she was retrieving some fun childrens’ books to entertain herself with because when I would go up there to check on her, the floor and bed were covered with literature for kids. But apparently, she got her hands on much much more. Namely, this book on death.

It was on a road trip to Houston earlier this week when she first talked about this (mind you, our trip to the lake was more than two weeks ago). I was so caught off guard when she brought this up in one of our conversations that my response was not one that prompted her to share more. I was giggling so much while trying to find out all I could about what she learned that, sadly, she refused to continue discussing it. I could not get more out of her other than the fact that she read it and it didn’t talk about God. “No, it didn’t mention Him.” And that was one of her last comments on the subject.

Her comprehension is amazing to me and I really wanted to know what she thought about the explanation she read in this book. Hopefully, a little more subtle and innocuous prodding might reveal more, but until then I’ll have to wonder what is going through her little mind with regards to this. I’ll keep folks posted if I learn anything new. And if anyone is in need of assistance in this area, maybe you can get Halle to help out : ) She might not tell me (I think she questions my motives for asking her about it) but I am sure she would be delighted to share her findings with others.

It is truly fascinating to hear her mind at work as she processes out loud the new types of ideas and information she finds to read about. It never ceases to amaze me what Halle’s little 5 year-old brain comes up with. I am so glad I get to be a part of these many many instances. And I wanted to share one more real quick scenario that is just too fun not to pass along. So keep reading…

“Do we have any reduced iron?”
“Reduced iron? What??”
It took me awhile to figure out what in the world Halle was asking me about. But after a little more discovery-type questions on my part, I realized she had been reading through and considering the list of ingredients on a bag of cookies. Her train of thought was this. The list was a ‘recipe’ one could follow to make their own batch; and she believed we could use it at our house when we got home to make our own treats. How clever she is! But sorry sweet girl, we have no reduced iron in our pantry.

I thought it would be entertaining to travel around our house and play a little detective game.

Are you up for it?

Good!

First, I’ll need you to familiarize yourself with some art work that was created from the hands and minds of Dee and Gracie. I am finding there is much benefit in paying attention to the art/markings/drawings/scribbles of Dee and Gracie and I think you too will see the significance in noting their different styles. Being able to identify those differences will help you out in just a bit.

Exhibit A: This is a picture Dee colored.

Notice the shortness of the strokes, the little zig zags and many colors.

Exhibit B: This is a picture Gracie colored.

Her strokes are much longer and with much curvature and swirl. She is content with fewer colors.

So having that, I’ll show you a few crime scenes from our home. You can play Sherlock Holmes and see if you can conjecture for yourself the guilty party.

wall:

chair:

bookshelf:

mirror:

Gracie’s face:

my Bible:

light fixture:

Have your guesses? Click here to see how you did

A shower for mommy is not an easy thing to come by. If I am at home without Rob and need to get clean when the girls are awake, the situation becomes a bit complicated. I have to lure everyone back in the bathroom with me, lock the door and proceed to take the world’s quickest shower. If I linger too long, some argument normally breaks out, there are tears, someone gets hurt, screaming and yelling are heard, sharing is not practiced; basically the bedroom becomes a dog-eat-dog world and things turn ugly. There are times when all three are literally pressed against the shower door; crying out accusations against each other, pleading their cases and begging for me to come be judge over the many injustices they all feel the victim of.

I needed to try a new approach. And I had a pretty good idea of something that just might work.

You see, each morning they have the opportunity to watch ONE thing on tv. None of them ever stay fixated for the entirety of the viewing; they will usually occupy themselves with a new activity or run off to play in another room. But there are those rare moments when I will notice that ALL of them are choosing to remain in the den and, at least momentarily, are indeed intently watching whatever is on the television. It was one of those moments that I was waiting for, to try out my new plan. I thought if I could know for certain that they were mentally occupied with something on the screen, I could run to the other room and take my shower without anyone having to experience any damaging repercussions. It would also be important for me to see that Dee was engrossed, as she is the one most likely to create havoc. And this particular morning, when the perfect opportunity presented itself, she was.

So I instantly left the scene, quickly showered and hurried back to the den; all in what I was certain was less than a minute. I saw the room, the girls, everything… in exactly the same state as I had left it.

Or was it?

Is Dee still lying on the floor? Check!

Is Halle still reading a book on the chair? Check!

Is Gracie still on the couch, next to the side table? Check!

But wait, something is different. Is that PURPLE on her toes?